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Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
https://wap.one-ring.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=25572		 Page 1 of 12
Author:  I Am Frodo [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 10:05 am ]
Post subject:  Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
Anyone want to start again?

Azog: 130
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 80
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 70
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 150
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 90
Bolg: 125
Gwaihir: 115
The Goblin King: 100
Thranduil: 95


As we all know Azog is actually really good at football, but couldn't find a ball to practise with. Seeing Sebastian the Hedgehog, he kicks him as far as he could, with Sebastian landing on the ground hard. Radagast, though, heals him.

Sebastian the Hedgehog -10
Sebastian the Hedgehog +5
Author:  Elessar Telcontar [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero
Yay, Sebastian's in again! :D

Sebastian decides that the best way to win is to get rid of his old enemies. Gwaihir's first...

Sebastian +5
Gwaihir -10

Azog: 130
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 80
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 75
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 150
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 90
Bolg: 125
Gwaihir: 105
The Goblin King: 100
Thranduil: 95

May I suggest that we avoid healing and hurting the same person at the same time in the future?
Author:  Beowulf03809 [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 2:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero
The Goblin King asks Sebastian the age old question:

"Do hedgehogs have any problem with...you know...sticking to their fur when they go to the bathroom?"

"No", Sebastian replies

"Good." says the Goblin King as he picks up the hedgehog and takes care of cleaning purposes.

Sebastian -10
Goblin King +5

Azog: 130
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 80
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 65
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 150
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 90
Bolg: 125
Gwaihir: 105
The Goblin King: 105
Thranduil: 95

PS: We should call him the Great Goblin as Tolkien did. Goblin King is wrong and I may have to kill him next because of that... :lol:
Author:  I Am Frodo [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero
Ok Great Goblin it is.

Yazneg was very angry that he was that close to becoming the main villain of the movie, that he thought he would try his best to win this. He took out the one who won last time. With this they would both be on the same amount.


Yazneg +5
Gwaihir -10

Azog: 130
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 80
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 65
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 150
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 95
Bolg: 125
Gwaihir: 95
Great Goblin: 105
Thranduil: 95
Author:  WhoelsebutHaldir [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 9:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero
Bolg goes for a stroll down south towards lothlorien, seeing this Haldir shoots
at him. The arrow bounces off his rediculous mace and gets tangled in his hair.

+5 Haldir
-10 Bolg

Azog: 130
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 85
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 65
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 150
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 95
Bolg: 115
Gwaihir: 95
Great Goblin: 105
Thranduil: 95
Author:  I Am Frodo [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 11:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero
Bolg hates Haldir and absolutely loves his own hair. And Bolg seeks revenge, forgetting his own strength, he picks up the Great Goblin above his head, where the GG lands on top of him. With Bolg crushed, The Great Goblin goes to the toilet, as he is disgustingly incontinent. Now he feels much better.


Bolg -10
Great Goblin +5 ( I'll make sure he wins this :D)


Azog: 130
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 85
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 65
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 150
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 95
Bolg: 105
Gwaihir: 95
Great Goblin: 110
Thranduil: 95
Author:  Azog [ Sat Mar 23, 2013 6:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
I've deleted the original one - carry on folks :-)
Author:  SouthernDunedain [ Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
Sebastain, revived from the dead again by radagast decrees that stupid fat goblins are nasty. He shoots some of his spikey bits into the great goblins face causing him to cry.

Seb +5
GG -10


Azog: 130
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 85
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 70
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 150
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 95
Bolg: 105
Gwaihir: 95
Great Goblin: 100
Thranduil: 95
Author:  GothmogtheWerewolf [ Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
Yazneg unveils himself as the most awesome being in Westeros, but is a very humble Orc, and he jabs Treebeard with his lance.

Yazneg +5
Treebeard -10

Azog: 130
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 85
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 70
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 140
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 100
Bolg: 105
Gwaihir: 95
Great Goblin: 100
Thranduil: 95
Author:  WhoelsebutHaldir [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
Seeing an opening between Yazneg and Azog, Haldir desires to take a pot shot at Azog. The arrow bounces off his metal arm and adds another scar to his face.

Haldir +5
Azog -10

Azog: 120
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 90
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 70
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 140
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 100
Bolg: 105
Gwaihir: 95
Great Goblin: 100
Thranduil: 95
Author:  I Am Frodo [ Sun Feb 09, 2014 12:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
Thranduil, Still throwing a tantrum and locking himself in Mirkwood, goes in to the Little Elves room. After doing the "dirty elf no. 2" he looks in the mirror. "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who has the most attractive hair of all?" A face forms inside the mirror. The face looks disgusting, like rotting flesh falling off the skull. Thranduil cant decide whether it is a Dead Marsh Spectre, or Helena Bonham Carter. The face screeches, " HAHAHAHAHA (evilly) NOT YOU!! THe most attractive hair award obviously goes to Haldir". Thranduil, enraged by this, unplugs his hair straightener from the wall, and runs to find Haldir. After finding him, he hits him on the head with the straightener. Thraduil goes in and steals Haldirs "Elf-Yourself Hair Straightenr (tm). Now Thraduil has the best hair.

Haldir -10
Thranduil +5

Azog: 120
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 80
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 70
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 140
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 100
Bolg: 105
Gwaihir: 95
Great Goblin: 100
Thranduil: 100
Author:  NarsilReforged [ Sun Feb 09, 2014 1:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
Sebastian the Hedgehog decides that Thranduil is a vain tw*t and eats his hair straightener. Thranduil's hair instantly becomes very messy and gets in his eyes. In his rage he falls down a hole cries like a baby at the bottom.

Thranduil -10
Sebastian +5

Azog: 120
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 80
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 75
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 140
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 100
Bolg: 105
Gwaihir: 95
Great Goblin: 100
Thranduil: 90
Author:  VandalCabbage [ Sun Feb 09, 2014 9:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
Bolg mocks Haldir for being a cheap knock-off of Legolas. Haldir mocks Bolg for being a cheap CGI knock-off of the more awesome version of himself.
Bolg suffers an existential crisis.
Haldir feels much better and has overcome his nervousness at dealing with large orcs with two-handed weapons and swears to fight as many as he can.

Bolg = -10
Haldir = +5

Azog: 120
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 85
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 75
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 140
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 100
Bolg: 95
Gwaihir: 95
Great Goblin: 100
Thranduil: 90
Author:  Hill-Troll [ Sun Feb 09, 2014 10:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
Thranduil is bored amd shoots arrows into a tree. Unfortunately this tree is Treebeard. Thranduil gets kicked into a spider nest. Treebeard enjoys this.

Treebeard: +5
Thranduil: -10

Azog: 120
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 85
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 75
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 145
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 100
Bolg: 95
Gwaihir: 95
Great Goblin: 100
Thranduil: 80
Author:  NarsilReforged [ Sun Feb 09, 2014 10:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
Thranduil in his anger picks up Sebastian and throws him out of the Door of Night. Unfortunately while he does this Morgoth has a chance to excape with his newly made friend, the little hedgehog. Morgoth stomps Thranduil into the ground. After Sebastian is done using his Morgoth friend he convinces him to go back into the Void because he says the Silmarils are hidden there. Morgoth does, like the gullible Valar he is. Sebastian then pushes the door shut.

Sebastian +5
Thranduil -10

Azog: 120
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 85
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 80
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 145
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 100
Bolg: 95
Gwaihir: 95
Great Goblin: 100
Thranduil: 70
Author:  I Am Frodo [ Mon Feb 10, 2014 6:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
Gwaihir flys over to see what all the commotion is. He sees a bunch of people on laptops playing some game called "Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero" on some website called the One-Ring. Gwaihir flies down, landing next to a computer user. He looks at the screen, up the right hand corner, it says " Logout [ NarsilReforged]. Gwaihir looks back at the centre of the screen, and sees that everytime NarsilReforged has submitted a post on this game, he has favoured Sebastion. Gwaihir is infuriated, for he wishes to win this game like he did last time. He crushes NarsilReforged's computer, and all of his Internet-Capable devices, then flies over to Rhosgobel to find Sebastion. Once there, Gwaihir angers. '' There is no light in Darkness, Hedgehog". After this, Gwaihir throws Sebastion in the air until he is floating lifelessly in space, waiting for the cold death given to him by dehydration, hunger or the more sensible Scientific Reason; lack of air and the fact that space is a vaccuum.


Gwaihir +5
Sebastion -10

Azog: 120
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 150
Haldir: 85
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 70
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 145
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 100
Bolg: 95
Gwaihir: 100
Great Goblin: 100
Thranduil: 70
Author:  WhoelsebutHaldir [ Mon Feb 10, 2014 6:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
Seeing the commotion Haldir laughs heartily and notches an arrow on his bow. He takes aim at Thranduil, trying to avenge the loss of his hair dryer, but seeing the great Smaug above his head, he decides this is a more glorious undertaking. He lets the arrow fly and watches it smack Smaug in the armour encrusted nostril.

Haldir +5
Smaug -10


Azog: 120
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 140
Haldir: 90
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 70
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 145
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 100
Bolg: 95
Gwaihir: 100
Great Goblin: 100
Thranduil: 70
Author:  I Am Frodo [ Mon Feb 10, 2014 7:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
The arrow that "hit" smaug in fact only scratched his nose, but still enough to harm him, "Obviously not a good aimer because he didnt aim for the exposed spot on his breast :/" As the arrow ricocheted off Smaugs nose, it nearly hit poor Gwaihir. Gwaihir flies back to the group of Computer users. He sees on the screen someone called "whoelsebuthaldir". Gwaihir is sick of the bias, he picks up The user, and throws him with NarsilReforged. Gwaihir flies over and picks up Haldir, and uses his long blonde hair and uses it as a beak-brush.

Gwaihir +5
Haldir -10

Azog: 120
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 140
Haldir: 80
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 70
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 145
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 100
Bolg: 95
Gwaihir: 105
Great Goblin: 100
Thranduil: 70
Author:  SidTheSloth [ Mon Feb 10, 2014 9:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
Radagast discovers he can stick pieces of cheese and pineapple on Sebastian. Now everyone wants a Seb. Seb's self popularity skyrockets.

Smaug gets toothache bigtime.

Sebastian +5
Smaug -10
(Go team Seb!)

Azog: 120
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 130
Haldir: 80
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 75
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 145
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 100
Bolg: 95
Gwaihir: 105
Great Goblin: 100
Thranduil: 70
Author:  NarsilReforged [ Mon Feb 10, 2014 9:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Eat Hero, Hurt Hero, Heal Hero 2
Sebastian realises that NarsilReforged has never played the game and no-body explained the rules to him. Sebastian bites Gwaihir's beak off for his ignorance.

Sebastian +5
Gwiahir -10

Azog: 120
Radagast: 85
Smaug: 140
Haldir: 80
Sebastian the Hedgehog: 80
Brego: 70
Grima Wormtongue: 60
Treebeard: 145
Bergil: 75
Yazneg: 100
Bolg: 95
Gwaihir: 95
Great Goblin: 100
Thranduil: 70
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